i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
