I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
