Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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