Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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