Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
