I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
