he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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