yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
