I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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