just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
