The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
