I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
