Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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