plz talk dirty to me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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