glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
