I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
