My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
