I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
