I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
