sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
