i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
