Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
