u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
