I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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