She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
