I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You pole danced in your parka.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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