I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
