just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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