If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Acid is not a monday night drug
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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