he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
