Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
