Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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