thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize