In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
