Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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