genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Help. Why am I so naked?
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