1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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