I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
