don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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