so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
