oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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