I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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