What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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