how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
