Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
