He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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