after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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