i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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