check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
