Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
