But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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