my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
